Mr. State Trooper … Please Don’t Stop Me …

Does the president “have Tourette’s”? How close is North Korea moving toward instigating the next world war? And what about those Russians snapping photos of the Oval Office?

Amidst the explication of the day’s news, we received a glimpse of the life and times of Ken West in West’s comments May 16.

Flash back to a 13 year old Kenny West, traversing central VA route 81 by thumb, moving between the homes of his two divorced parents.

According to the tale, a state trooper “came up on” young Kenny, who wore an Afghan jacket and long “hippie hair,” and in the course of an interrogation, rifled through his pockets, finding approximately 10 grams of hashish wrapped in tin foil.

“I told him they were (Hershey’s) kisses,” West said, admitting that the hash did not look like kisses, but could have been some other form of chocolate.

West said after hauling him back to the station, the officer then suddenly let him go. However, on making his way back to his old haunts, West found his load to be a little lighter – by a few grams.

“He took some of my stuff!” West said. “He was a Vietnam vet – he wanted to get high.”

All in all, West conceded, the situation could have turned out worse.

“He was a sweet-heart,” West said of the state policeman. “It was at that time that I decided I wanted to work in intelligence, in the FBI – not to bust people for a little bit of drugs, you understand … to put the real bad guys away, the murderers, the a-holes.”

Unfortunately for West, he said, the minimum height requirement for the academy was five feet eight inches, while at the apex of his growth, West ranged 5’7” – and a half.

“If I’d have been about a half an inch taller,” West said, rather broadly referencing the current state of American democracy, the efficacy of the country’s rule of law, and its ability to weather corruption and kleptocracy, “none of this bullsh-t would have happened.”



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