Five and a Half Lies a Day

In comments November 14, Ken West responded to a CNN story published this week contending that the president Donald J. Trump lies approximately 5.5 times per day in office.

“What happened to George Washington?” West said. “’I cannot tell a lie.’”

West answered his own question, speculating that the young Washington “probably got his butt kicked” by his father.

“It was probably just a little tree,” West said. “Why did he chop the tree down?”

West theorized that maybe the cherries were too high, and Washington was a “young, big-assed teenager” and wanted to reach the cherries.

“How did he chop it down?” West said. “Did he have a nuke?”

In any case, West noted that the story of the cherry tree is a famous anecdote promoting the first president’s character, also positing that, had America had a different initial leader, its resounding power as a first world democracy might not have been so strong.

“We’ve gone a long way from 1 to 45,” West said. “The truth is twirling on a twitter.”

West also made a vague stab at estimating the costs of a trip he said was made to “call somebody a rocket man,” saying taxpayers probably paid a billion dollars.

However, most of his criticism was reserved for the final days of the trip in which he said Trump met with Duterte, a known aggressor in his own country.

“He gets up in the morning, he goes ‘get me an Uzi, I’m gonna hunt a drug dealer,’” West said of Duterte. “They shoot him down, they say, well he was a drug dealer.”

West questioned how this kind of aggression plays to evangelicals.

“How are you going to come back and tell that to Christians?” West said.

Going back to his continuing study of what he called a “proxy war” in the Middle East, West seemed to conflate the standoff between the U.S. and North Korea with the Sunni-Shia conflict in MENA, suggesting that America might, in one scenario or another, find itself embroiled in a world war to end all world wars.

“I told you about the Chinese submarines,” West said.

Cataloguing his count of the numerous national world arsenals of nuclear weapons, West suggested that part of China’s arsenal may not be known to the west, and that others, such as Pakistan’s, may not be well secured. Issuing dire Cassandra warnings about various doomsday scenarios, West welcomed the news that in the U.S., legislators are currently holding hearings to determine whether the president’s nuclear weapon authorities should be curtailed.


Who Said it First? Ken West … or Chris Rock?

Over the last few days, Ken West has been doing a good bit of research about the legal feasibility of his proposal to control the sale of bullets in the United States while allowing gun enthusiasts unfettered access to their assault rifles, as a backdoor to some sort of effective policing to decrease gun massacres.

When asked about a Chris Rock stage bit that also proposed “bullet control” in the 1990s, through charging customers $5000 for every round of ammunition, West said his plan is definitely different, though he and Rock are “on the same wave.”

“Chris Rock is **** dumb,” West said. “That guy hasn’t done his research. That would never work.”

West’s plan involves setting up government gun ranges where customers pay to shoot – making it a felony to transport bullets away from the range, or to sell guns or ammunition across state lines.

“If you wanna go pop off some rounds – if you’re mad at your old lady, your testosterone’s up – you have to go to a government facility where a shooting range is,” West said. “If you have $500 to buy a gun, you can spend $50 to see a shrink, and they better have some poignant questions for your ass, look you dead in the eye, take a polygraph, or something … this shit is getting out of hand.”

Noting that America has the biggest gun massacre problem of any first world nation, and is an outlier with Yemen in terms of gun ownership per capita, West said Chris Rock’s early effort at bullet control just didn’t save the savvy to make an impact.

“It would never pass muster,” West said, explaining the phrase and its use in the military. “They call you up to stand on the line – if your shoes aren’t shiny enough, you got poop on your pants – you don’t pass muster.”

West stressed that the word is “muster,” not “mustard” and then recounted a brief summary of his own days in the U.S. Army in Vietnam, where he said after becoming a passionate anti-war protester he was “shanghaied” to do basic training and subsequently left with an honorary discharge.

“I should have got a **** medal,” West said.

Explaining a bullet control plan that he said would meet the necessary standard, West explained that with enough Supreme Court backing and some initial state pilot programs, the idea could take off. West read off a list of states where he thinks the initiative would have promise, including Illinois, California and Washington.

“There’s a bunch of rednecks up in Oregon,” West said, naming Oregon, West Virginia and Texas as states that would be slow to enact such laws.

“Texas will be the last one,” West said. “But they would probably pass it eventually.”

West also revealed details on several second amendment cases he has been researching in the last 48 hours, including an early 1939 case involving a man named “Miller.”

“I’ve got some good information – this is real,” West said, describing how after commiting a crime with a machine gun, Miller tried to use the second amendment as a defense.

“It dawned on the court, this is a criminal weapon, dude, you’re going to jail,” West said.

In addition to bullet control, West is also taking aim at the practice of civil forfeiture, adding his own name to the endless ranks of citizens who feel it’s unfair for law enforcement to pocket people’s money arbitrarily.

West described getting arrested on a drunk in public charge, and losing $35 dollars to the police.

“They wouldn’t give it back to me in cash,” West said. “I had to go back to the jail to get it. They were planning on keeping it.”

The court, he said, did not reimburse him for three to four hours of his time.

In foreign affairs, West mentioned he is keeping an eye on Saudi Arabia, where he said the crown prince has rounded up over 500 officials, and on Lebanon, which he said may aid Saudi Arabia in a “proxy war” against Iran.

West suggested that some of the Saudi overreach may be a result of political complacency in the Kingdom, due to the government’s relationship with its citizens.

“I’m not saying the Saudis live in the lap of luxury,” West said, “But they get enough freebies.”

West feels that the Saudis believe that if they go to war with Iran, America will back them. Repeating his claim that “this could be Armageddon,” West said it’s incumbent on locals to start hoarding water.

The Cold War – Bullets – and Mice

In comments Nov. 9, Ken West provided his version of what happened during the cold war.

In one sense, he said, it was all about weaponry.

“We built the finest missiles – the Minutemen,” West said. “Perfectly precise instruments of destruction.”

In contrast, he said, the Russians built “expendable” missiles with a short life span.

“They were these big-ass things … like Satan 2, Satan 1.” West said. “They were city buses – their guidance was not well.”

Now, West believes, Russian leadership may be moving toward a different model, setting up illicit weaponry in Cuba to detonate an EMP, an electro-magnetic pulse that could interfere with a national electrical grid.

Turning to domestic news, West said he has renewed his call for what he calls “bullet control” – West has been tirelessly advocating for his new take on gun control in the wake of a gun massacre in Texas, suggesting that the answer is to “ban the bullets” and only allow ammunition to be purchased at gun ranges. West conceded that Thursday was mostly spent “preaching to the choir” by calling a certain reporter at all hours, repeatedly to offer his bullet idea. But, he said, he also made another call, to his local 911 operator, to record his “intellectual property” for posterity.

“It’s all recorded,” West said. “I have made it known.”

West concluded his remarks with one of his earliest memories, of unearthing the skeletons of dead mice that he had buried posthumously in matchboxes at the age of six, and observing their frail bones.

“They were taken with grace, by worms,” West said.

Disarmament Now: Grieving for Texas

Ken West is asking advocates for peace to join him in grieving for Texas and all of the other victims from American massacres of past years.

West also feels strongly that there is a solution for the gun violence that is plaguing the country.

“Let ‘em keep their guns,” West said late Tuesday night. “Take away their bullets.”

West suggested a new way to approach gun control might be to limit ammunition purchases. That way, buyers of semi-automatic weapons will not be able to shoot hundreds of rounds at lightning speed.

In addition, West called for setting up spectacular shooting ranges where gun nuts can, well, “go nuts” and shoot off their guns just as much as they want.

“Tell ‘em, here’s your toy – go shoot,” West said. “Then you put your gun away, and you go home.”

Getting choked up when talking about the tragic Sandy Hook massacre, West said he can’t understand why people feel the need to kill innocent children, but as long as that evil exists, he said, it’s important to have public voices for peace.

“Turn the swords into ploughshares,” West said, speaking to the urgency of practicing real disarmament, both on a personal level with AR-15s and similar guns, and on the world stage, where the specter of nuclear war now rears its head again, with even pundits questioning the steadiness and calm of world leaders. Both nuclear weapons and assault rifles, West said, are killing machines, and both should be treated as the dangerous weapons that they are, not as toys. Invoking past figures such as the Berrigan brothers and other notable peacemakers of the past generation, West said it’s time to get serious about bringing a new perspective and “waging peace in a time of war.”

Major Motion Picture: Neighborhood Promotion

In comments late Tuesday night, Ken West described his latest efforts to drive attention around his latest project, which he refers to as a “major motion picture” that will reveal many of the secrets of the universe.

“I was down at the 7-11,” West said. “The children were out – ‘do you know where your children are?’”

Describing a crowd of young adults gathered in the parking lot, West said the group of 10 or 11 individuals recognized him as someone who is very well liked in the Charlottesville community.

“These were the nerds of Albemarle County,” West said. “There was a girl sitting on a white car with sparkly things on her head … they’re all swamping around me.”

West said he used the opportunity to promote his film project.

“I said: I have a major motion picture. I know how Jesus got here,” West said. “I’m on … I’m on.”

However, West said, he did not give away the plot.

“Why in the hell would you tell the premise of a major motion picture when they’ll just go put it on sci-fi and warp the message?” West said, urging this reporter to get involved on the ground floor of the project.

“You will have more money than you can imagine backing you up,” West said.

West also referred to a new collaborator on the film.

“This is quite extraordinary,” West said, of a Wendy’s employee who he said was homeless, and now shares West’s housing unit. “I have this really cool humanoid … he’s sort of like Jesus … he got beat down … I’m sort of saving him.”

All of this, West said, takes place against the backdrop of national news, in which the United States appears to be continuing military action against North Korea.

“The planes are flying as we speak,” West said. “The big dogs.”

Again contending that he “prophesied” current events, West said the arming of these warplanes may be a signal of a nuclear conflagration to come that will signal the end of the world as it is portrayed in John’s revelation.

“They’re carrying tactical nuclear weapons,” West said, referring to B-52s as “the old dogs.”

West also cautioned Americans to look out for “that asshole Putin” and “dump Trump.”

In unrelated comments, West explained that although he is a “noshling (non-orientated sexual humanoid)” he does not participate in the transvestite community. However, he said, he does have an abundance of high quality women’s clothing in storage, from a joint venture with a girlfriend several years ago who was going to operate an unusual business out of a retail space.

West did note the softness of women’s clothes, and said if he had access to the storage space, he might want to obtain some of the garments.


Breaking Rat Trap News – Rat-Pocolypse Threatens U.S. Cities

Ken West is gearing up to make a renewed push for municipal managers to consider his own rat trap design.

“The cities of North America are experiencing an exceptional invasion of rats,” Ken West told this reporter October 11, citing climate change as a main driver of rat proliferation.

“Bobby Corrigan is the rat-master,” West said, quoting a work by Emily Atkin in New Republic that discusses the coming ‘Rat-pocolypse’ that West says will inundate American urban areas.

“I have pages of information in front of me,” West said. “I have the vision in my grey matter.”

West said the high-grade rat trap will cost around $500 and is not for home use. It also has to be tested.

“Rats are smart,” West said. “Can we outsmart rats?”

Describing the design as a “cone-shaped thing” made of metal with a rubber base, West said the rat trap is equipped with a kill chamber that metes out nitrogen, to work on the principal of oxygen deprivation. Nitrogen, West said, is seventh on the “elemental scale.”

The trap also has to be emptied on a regular basis.

“You can’t leave dead rats in there,” West said. “If you leave dead rats in there, the other rats aren’t gonna want to come in. They’re smart – they know death.”

West said he would not rule out the idea that he may be re-incarnated from great rat catchers of the past.

“It’s my mission,” West said. “We have to eliminate them. They’re going to overcome us. We have to diminish them gracefully. Let’s have some grace for the rats.”

In places like New York City and Houston, Texas, West said, rats are taking over, and poison is not a good method, since they crawl up in walls and die. On the other hand, he said, oxygen deprivation is so humane that, according to him, the government is considering it as a means of capital punishment.

“It’s a peaceful way to go out,” West said, explaining that he learned about oxygen deprivation from studying agriculture.

“If you’re in a silo, trapped for some stupid reason,” West said, “You’re putting grain in there, your door locks – nitrogen will deprive you of oxygen.”

West enumerated several other reasons his rat trap should be sought after by municipal managers and public works directors.

“I have so much information, you can’t imagine,” West said. “But I have priorities – and my priority is the rat trap.”

West then said he is getting along well with his significant other, who he referred to as “a walking bible.”

“We are the two witnesses,” West said.

Weighing in on a Facebook post made earlier today by a mutual acquaintance working as a water technician near Charlottesville, West said it would be irresponsible to encourage pranksters or malicious actors to put LSD in reservoir water.


However, he said, rats are a more serious threat.


“How do you think the bubonic plague happened?” West asked.

Bumper Stickers, Etc.

Ken West has a new money-making idea he is sure will catch on, citing the popularity of a smiley face sticker he remembers from the Vietnam War era.

West plans to design and print bumper stickers, after carefully registering the catchphrase: “Dump Trump.”

On further consideration, the slogan became extended to: “Dump Trump, the Chump who grabs the Rump.”

West is also feeling very vindicated by new reports he has found “in the UVA paper and on NPR” that American hostage Otto Warmbier “had his teeth rearranged” by the North Koreans before falling into a coma and being returned to the U.S. West said he has contacted the University of Virginia to remind them that his own teeth were broken by the UVA campus police several years ago.

West is no longer waiting for a settlement, claiming that pursuing one is pointless. However, he said, the bumper sticker idea has considerable financial potential.

Why bumper stickers?

Continually citing the dangers of North Korea’s advancing military program, West remains convinced that the hermit nation will either set off an atmospheric hydrogen bomb, detonate an EMP, or release many small tactical nuclear weapons, possibly targeting the U.S. east coast from a submarine.

The bumper stickers will show, West said, how these nuclear dangers were the product of American stupidity and carelessness and a profound inability of the president to grasp the reality of the situation.

West then informed this reporter of his need to go for a walk with his woman to get some beer.

Casting for a Work in Progress – Fusing Religions

Work proceeds apace on a “major motion picture” to be produced somewhere in central Virginia, Ken West said July 23.

A “table of 13” will be filled by persons of all major world religions.

“Buddha, Hindu, Christian, voodoo…the whole gamut,” West said.

A man named Don who believes that he is an incarnated god will play God. If Don doesn’t work out, West said, a replacement will be found.

“We can always find somebody that thinks as he does,” West said.

All of it, he added, will be very high-tech.

“I’ll add a little message that’s in my grey matter,” West said. “Once I reveal it – it will end war.”

Other aspects to be covered may include a feature on the life and times of Albert Einstein, and the revelation of some of his theories, the Theory of Mass-Energy equivalence.

West explained that “many particles can be found within a square” and that a “square” has extremely useful properties in physics, some of which might be echoed in the Masonic use of the square as a tool of power.

West also revealed some alternate theological history.

“Jesus didn’t really die on the cross,” West said. “You can’t kill God.”

Instead, West said, the messiah went into a meditative state, which West characterized as “hibernation.”

After the Romans allowed two women to take Jesus to the tomb, West said, a crew of extra-terrestrial angels arrived to give aid.

“He was in dire straits,” West said. “They patched him up.”

Afterward, West continued, Christ came back to earth for 40 days, to reveal himself to the faithful. However, he said, the Romans got word of his return, and Pontius Pilate called for him to be arrested once again.

“Jesus got wind of it,” West said. “He whipped out his cell phone and said ‘Beam me up – they’re going to kill me again!’”

In addition, West shared a recap of the origin of Voodoo, which he attributed to the era of the Spanish conquistadors.

The Catholics, he said, brought their religion to the tribal nations of the Caribbean.

“(the tribes) intertwined (Christianity) with their own religion of vengeance – to poke little holes in your body,” West said.



pains, evils of our weird world

the creator of the insane

is it true there is a dark force

coursing through our veins?

sin, the sinew of our connected bones.

beautiful, they are

born of the stars

stardust, we are

love, of life, love

not from above, born from within

The Blue Rose – an original Ken West poem

Our blue rose is planet earth.


If you look at it from the cosmos, it is the most amazing planet.


All the creatures – giraffes, elephants, whales … humans.


Message to the cosmos:

We as humans are striving, evolving, to erect

A just and civil civilization.


What is it?

What is it?

What is it?


To accept: there is no Tooth Fairy or Santa Claus,

Just cause and effect,

And our will to erect

A just and civil civilization.


Yes, we know true love, and our planet earth,

Our waterworld,

My blue rose.


(repeat: chorus)

Yes, we are evolving to love our planet earth,

Our waterworld.

From our blue rose:

Message to the cosmos…