All posts by A K

Applekamp’s Curiosities August 28

Phillies 2008 Word Champions – Game 5

Beautiful framed panorama shot

$20.00

 

Superman/Batman Kid’s Toy Camera

Toy camera – works. DOES NOT TAKE REAL PICTURES. Flashes superhero shots in viewfinder when button is pressed.

$5.00

 

Harvest Still-Life Metal Cannister

About 1.5 ft in diameter

$7.00

 

Long Tall Santa

This cheerful gent stands about 2 ft. tall

$7.00

 

Halloween Pack

Bobble-head cat (well used) – squash lights up – 6 pc. pumpkin pack

 

Other craigslist posts:

 

https://lancaster.craigslist.org/atq/d/mother-mary-light-up-figurine/6668466487.html

 

https://lancaster.craigslist.org/ele/d/polaroid-600/6676968103.html

 

https://lancaster.craigslist.org/atq/d/4-antique-film-cannisters/6667230308.html

 

 

 

First Day of School

In our nightly chat, my seven year old mentioned our dog and how brave she must be.

“She’s not scared of the dark.” he said.

I explained that dogs can see pretty good in the dark – and they can smell meat very well, too.

However, I passed along a little factoid that I’ve heard often enough, but never looked up – so I might be wrong.

I told him dogs are colorblind.

“Well,” he said, “sometimes I think I’m kind of colorblind – because I just don’t pay attention to the colors.”

He told me that yesterday, he didn’t pay attention to the color yellow, and “some other colors.”

Intrigued, I asked him what the yellow thing was that he didn’t pay attention to.

“I don’t know,” he said. “It was kind of in the middle of the day yesterday – and we had a whole day yesterday, and a whole day today.”

Yes, my kid had his first day of school today – he had a great time and his teacher seems nice and he got to walk the last bit of the way to school by himself.

He really wanted to go by himself.

“I’m already here,” I said, walking him down the path, “and I need the exercise, so can I walk with you?”

“You can get exercise walking somewhere else.” he said.

I took myself off in another direction just at the time that one of his best friends came along with his mom, so they walked together to the school.

After school was over, I walked and got him – I had to buzz in with a handheld radio and wait for a while until someone came to escort me in to where the kids were happily playing dodgeball. I told my son how in my day, guys would try to swing that ball right in your face. He said he’s pretty good at dodging.

As we walked out, he asked me if he could walk home by himself.

“I’m already here,” I said. “You can walk ahead if you want  – but I’m a pretty fast walker.”

So we out-walked each other all the way home.

 

Stephen Hawking Approves Major Motion Picture!

In Ken West’s dream, he was moving up a lighted staircase into the sky, with a black dog and two black kittens behind him.

He found a “humanoid presence” at the top, who he called Lucifer, and wrestled with him until the gate was unlocked and the menagerie ventured out into the ethereal plane.

The late Stephen Hawking appeared and gave him some sort of inexplicable advice about global warming, or Trump or something.

“One of our greatest. Dead. Little guy in a wheelchair. Name.” West said, trying to identify the Cambridge-educated theoretical physicist who passed into the unknown in March.

“He told me I could make my motion picture,” West said, rhapsodizing further about the money-making and fame inherent in his eventual plan to release a blockbuster film on America.

Then, he said, he watched a spectacular sunset, with an extra twist.

“The names of all of the saints were written there in gold,” he said. “It was the Tree of Life.”

The dog, he said, probably represented Storm, the Norwegian elkhound who traveled with him in his Ford van throughout the 1990s and, West said, has been re-incarnated.

The kittens, he said, mean “that there is no such thing as bad luck.”

West re-iterated his ongoing claim that he was “right about North Korea” and had a chuckle at the plight of poor Paul Manafort who is facing some time behind bars, along with other assorted characters. As for the ringleader, West speculated that the embattled president could “end up in the box.” “It’s Watergate all over again,” he said. “Too much fast food, no golden toilet for you!”

News from the Front

Our intermittent correspondent is hunkered down in Charlottesville Va, preparing for another weekend of white nationalist activity.

 

This time, he says, police are ready. West detailed to Leading the Horse how a proactive state police force of over 800 has been on the ground looking at potential crowd control problems, and noted the recent hiring of a new police chief who he said is an African-American woman.

 

“The leader of the pack – is black.” West said, adding his own daily activities to his report. “I’m acclimated to the neighborhood … and I played the piano today!”

 

West called back late in the news day with what he characterized as “good news” and a break from his usual doom and gloom reports of nuclear hysteria.

 

“Two Australians figured out how to turn hydrogen into ammonia,” West said. “It will solve the climate change problem.”

West also suggested a new cure for malaria is pending.

 

“All in a week, we got two humanoid problems,” he said.

Applekamp’s Curiosities August 7, 2018

 

AKA Fiction Collection available HERE

Email akapplekamp@yahoo.com to make a deal on any of these items.

 

 

ALEF

Lovingly restored console radio with replaced wooden volume knob – station reception limited. Nice wooden case and fabric speaker shield.

35.00 + shipping/delivery

 

 

BEIT

Exquisite ornate wooden box with metal clasp and handle – perfect for storing fine wine or anything else. Antique finish wood exterior.

 

$25.00 + shipping/delivery

 

GIMEL

Ornate metal music box – plays when opened. Red plush interior.

 

 

$10.00 + shipping/delivery

DALET

 

This plastic antique General Electric model has not yet been refurbished and is in only fair shape

 

 

$30.00 + shipping/delivery

Did Iran Agree Not to Buy?

 

Somebody help me out with something –

 

We know that an ignorant and crass administration is flirting with danger by clumsily inflaming the same Iranian leadership that we used to regard as a serious adversary and treat with diplomatic care. What I haven’t heard about is some of the specific details of “the deal” that is now on the scrapheap and how a certain kind of doomsday scenario might shape up.

 

Ken West is on a mission to alert the world to a critical danger regarding Iran’s possible purchase of nuclear weapons from North Korea.

 

The hermit kingdom is one of West’s favorite subjects – call him and he will explore at great length the plight of the North Korean people, the mind of the nefarious Kim Yong Un (who he says is still “ill”), and the various pursuits of nuclear weapons that are having a destabilizing and frightening effect on the world population.

 

Key to West’s passionate theory is that the nation of Iran is purchasing nuclear weapons from Un’s unfriendly regime in preparation for a colossal confrontation with the West (no pun intended).

 

West also likes to include the danger of an Israeli-based conflict given the long history of tensions there.

 

In a long conversation July 26, West spoke about Iran having long-distance missiles that it could equip with nuclear capacity.

 

“All they have to do is tip them with nukes,” West said.

 

The forthcoming attack, he said, could be difficult to evaluate.

 

“A nuke goes off, it don’t leave much evidence,” West said. “It don’t leave a signature. No signature.”

 

West suggested tactical nuclear weapons might target oil tanks in the Strait of Hormuz, cutting off vital world oil supplies.

 

Having read the news of the day, West also weighed in on the psychology of the American White House and its propensity for aggressive actions.

 

“If he gets his ass caught in a fix, he might say ‘well I’m just going to start a war’” West said, warning of dangerous consequences from capricious political decisions in general.

 

For example, he said, any stray misunderstanding between the military assets of both countries, perhaps in Yemen or elsewhere, could easily start “World War III.”

 

“That’s the kind of thing that happened in World War I – you know that don’t you?” West said. “That (expletive) can happen with evil people.”

 

West’s narrative often repeated makes a significant point – the American government had put all sorts of precautions in place to prevent Iran from developing its own nuclear weapons – but did it also safeguard against a purchase by Iran from another country?

 

I, for one, have no idea.

 

 

Later in the call, West explained the vast diversity of bacteria in the human body.

 

“I got all these creatures in my gut,” he said.

 

One the subject of centaurs, West claimed that if these mythical entities had existed in tandem with the development of human civilizations, the centaurs would not be the slaves, but the masters.

1 Early Morning Tweet….

I HAVE ACHIEVED CARTOONISH LEVELS OF SUCCESS BUT AM A TOTAL MORON! I WILL CONTINUE TO PUT ALL OF YOUR LIVES IN DANGER BECAUSE I AM ALSO THE HUMAN EQUIVALENT OF AN ABUSED PIT BULL! AHAHAHAAAA! 140 CHARACTERS OR LESS FAM!!!!!!

Recent Conversation with Ken

“You’re not gonna believe this..!”

“What?”

I was laying under this tree – participating in photosynthesis – being baptized again by the rain, The baby bird were singing me a song, you’re not gonna believe what they said!”

“What?”

“They said I am one with God.”