Bumper Stickers, Etc.

Ken West has a new money-making idea he is sure will catch on, citing the popularity of a smiley face sticker he remembers from the Vietnam War era.

West plans to design and print bumper stickers, after carefully registering the catchphrase: “Dump Trump.”

On further consideration, the slogan became extended to: “Dump Trump, the Chump who grabs the Rump.”

West is also feeling very vindicated by new reports he has found “in the UVA paper and on NPR” that American hostage Otto Warmbier “had his teeth rearranged” by the North Koreans before falling into a coma and being returned to the U.S. West said he has contacted the University of Virginia to remind them that his own teeth were broken by the UVA campus police several years ago.

West is no longer waiting for a settlement, claiming that pursuing one is pointless. However, he said, the bumper sticker idea has considerable financial potential.

Why bumper stickers?

Continually citing the dangers of North Korea’s advancing military program, West remains convinced that the hermit nation will either set off an atmospheric hydrogen bomb, detonate an EMP, or release many small tactical nuclear weapons, possibly targeting the U.S. east coast from a submarine.

The bumper stickers will show, West said, how these nuclear dangers were the product of American stupidity and carelessness and a profound inability of the president to grasp the reality of the situation.

West then informed this reporter of his need to go for a walk with his woman to get some beer.

Casting for a Work in Progress – Fusing Religions

Work proceeds apace on a “major motion picture” to be produced somewhere in central Virginia, Ken West said July 23.

A “table of 13” will be filled by persons of all major world religions.

“Buddha, Hindu, Christian, voodoo…the whole gamut,” West said.

A man named Don who believes that he is an incarnated god will play God. If Don doesn’t work out, West said, a replacement will be found.

“We can always find somebody that thinks as he does,” West said.

All of it, he added, will be very high-tech.

“I’ll add a little message that’s in my grey matter,” West said. “Once I reveal it – it will end war.”

Other aspects to be covered may include a feature on the life and times of Albert Einstein, and the revelation of some of his theories, the Theory of Mass-Energy equivalence.

West explained that “many particles can be found within a square” and that a “square” has extremely useful properties in physics, some of which might be echoed in the Masonic use of the square as a tool of power.

West also revealed some alternate theological history.

“Jesus didn’t really die on the cross,” West said. “You can’t kill God.”

Instead, West said, the messiah went into a meditative state, which West characterized as “hibernation.”

After the Romans allowed two women to take Jesus to the tomb, West said, a crew of extra-terrestrial angels arrived to give aid.

“He was in dire straits,” West said. “They patched him up.”

Afterward, West continued, Christ came back to earth for 40 days, to reveal himself to the faithful. However, he said, the Romans got word of his return, and Pontius Pilate called for him to be arrested once again.

“Jesus got wind of it,” West said. “He whipped out his cell phone and said ‘Beam me up – they’re going to kill me again!’”

In addition, West shared a recap of the origin of Voodoo, which he attributed to the era of the Spanish conquistadors.

The Catholics, he said, brought their religion to the tribal nations of the Caribbean.

“(the tribes) intertwined (Christianity) with their own religion of vengeance – to poke little holes in your body,” West said.



pains, evils of our weird world

the creator of the insane

is it true there is a dark force

coursing through our veins?

sin, the sinew of our connected bones.

beautiful, they are

born of the stars

stardust, we are

love, of life, love

not from above, born from within

The Blue Rose – an original Ken West poem

Our blue rose is planet earth.


If you look at it from the cosmos, it is the most amazing planet.


All the creatures – giraffes, elephants, whales … humans.


Message to the cosmos:

We as humans are striving, evolving, to erect

A just and civil civilization.


What is it?

What is it?

What is it?


To accept: there is no Tooth Fairy or Santa Claus,

Just cause and effect,

And our will to erect

A just and civil civilization.


Yes, we know true love, and our planet earth,

Our waterworld,

My blue rose.


(repeat: chorus)

Yes, we are evolving to love our planet earth,

Our waterworld.

From our blue rose:

Message to the cosmos…

Sixteen Tons (And What do Ya Get?)

In an impromptu foray into the state of American industry July 7, Ken West revealed his sympathy for the coal people of the Northwest.

“They have the most excellent coal,” West said of communities in some U.S. state, possibly Wyoming. “Did you know there are different grades of coal? They have this huge-ass power plant – they’ve been delivering to Oregon and Washington for half a century.”

Describing the coal delivery process, West referred to a four-mile conveyor belt he said takes the coal “straight to the burner.”

A profressional coal miner, West said, can make as much as $80,000 annually, although he said, part of their high salary is meant to compensate for a generally reduced longevity.

The health habits of some coal miners, West said, also plays a role.

“They’re all about getting their fatburgers and hot dog and some stupid stuff on TV,” West said, citing the Jerry Springer show, which, though popular in some pockets of Appalachalia, has been largely banned in American hospitals.

West said he sympathizes with the American coal miner and has to side with the president on the issue of whether coal should again become a pillar of the American economy in an era where cost-effective renewable energy is so close at hand.

“These humanoids have this great natural resource,” West said. “Couldn’t they do something with it?”

When questioned about the long-term feasibility of burning massive amounts of coal just to keep the Northwestern miner employed, West quickly conceded it doesn’t make sense to keep burning new coal reserves. He agreed it might be better for American workers to use the coal for artistic and decorative purposes.

In an abrupt switch to international affairs, West made another effort to assure the American people that doomsday is not yet close at hand.

“Can I give you a minute of niceness?” West said. “I am the bearer of good news.”

Regardless of recent North Korean ICBM tests, West said Kim Jong-Un does not have the wherewithal to deliver on threats to the U.S.

“That little crazy bastard,” West said. “He ain’t gonna do nothing.”

The Bonfires of Saint John

On Saint John’s Eve, near the cusp of the June solstice, Ken West celebrated his birthday by performing a set of his own songs on the piano in the sanctuary of the Haven church in Charlottesville, VA.

“A Yamaha. A real piano.” West said. “I’m not talking about an electronic thing.”

The lyrics to West’s “Blue Rose,” an ode to Mother Earth, are currently in storage, but West said he has worked on some of the material he brought with him to Nashville in the late 1990s.

The day also included a trip to the local Chipotle, where West said the crew gifted him with a free burrito.

“They all know me over there,” West said.

West also used the day to ruminate on his own take on a new presidential plan to put solar panels on top of the border wall that has been so much a part of the flamboyant POTUS’ reality-TV agenda.

Just hours before sundown, CNN reports highlighted the assertion, assumedly from the White House, that a solar border wall would “pay for itself.” Since Trump’s previous claims that Mexico would pay for the wall have been roundly rebuffed, the idea that costs could be recouped through the collection of solar energy provides a convenient fig leaf for the jingoistic plan to wall off the entire country from its southern neighbor, at significant expense, in an era of slackening immigration across the U.S./Mexican border.

“It could work.” West said, asking us to imagine steel frames 50 feet high, crowned with solar panels, and “barbed wire on the Mexican side.”

However, West is not a fan of the president’s plan per se, suggesting the solar panel wall would need key changes to be viable. In fact, West voiced much more admiration for another infrastructure project on the other side of the world: China’s revival of a “Silk Road” concept that is being talked about on National Public Radio. In some ways, China’s new trade initiative, buttressed by blockchain and cryptocurrency technology applications, paves the way for the Middle Kingdom to emerge as a new and much more competent superpower nation utilizing practical, fiscally responsible trade and military policy.

Noting the enormous debt that America owes to China, West suggested it would behoove U.S. citizens to research emerging Chinese policy. West also reiterated his descriptions of current Chinese military projects: the creation of massive man-made islands to serve as stationary battleships, and a series of “hovercraft” ships he said represent a new and modern naval fleet.

Returning to policy regarding North Korea, which West typically refers to as “going back to square one,” West mentioned two points. First, he said, he has abandoned his recommendation of “dropping 20-dollar bills and rice balls” over the impoverished country, admitting that military leaders would just confiscate any such windfalls. Secondly, West noted the absence of any recent long-range missile tests or other provocations.

“All is well.” West said. “I am the bearer of good news.”

You Don’t Mess With the G-Man



The whole Comey thing is a blizzard – a circus of such great and strange proportions that it’s really hard to tackle it whole at all.

In some ways, it comes down to a sitting president whose level of discourse is “See Dick lie. Lie, Dick, lie.”

In another way, it comes down to the reality. Not the “facts.” The reality is that, if you put your money on Comey, you’re likely to win. But the skeleton crew still propping up the POTUS don’t want you to hear that.

The reality is that there most likely was some form of “collusion” or “obstruction” regardless of the president’s ridiculous soundbite: “No collusion, No obstruction, He’s a leaker.”

Anyway, getting past all of that, there’s something else really interesting happening.

Listening to the post-game today, you can hear several desperate ways that the colorguard behind the throne are trying to discredit Comey.

One is that he really shouldn’t have “leaked” details of his conversations, which, as inside the beltway professionals point out, happens all the time and is routine in the context in which Comey did it.

But there’s another argument that’s even weirder.

You have this soundbite of Corey Lewandowski saying Comey “wasn’t man enough to give the notes directly to the media” all while engaging in the same kind of “alternative facts” spin that took Kelley Ann Conway down a notch.

It’s the old trick of adding insult to injury, but on a deeper level, it actually might be revealing a lot more of the reality that Trump backers would like to conveniently ignore.

Look at this face.

Does this guy look scared?

Think about it. This guy’s a G-man. A spook. He’s not the guy who you scare. He’s the guy who scares you. Jim Comey is the one who knocks.

Here’s the thing – the “alt-right” or whatever you call them these days has always, always traded on the machismo of America, and the ultimate superiority of law enforcement types and white people. Hell, authoritarians make the best FOP donors. So what Lewandowski was saying is really a bridge too far.

In a kind of admission of this ultimate reality, Lewandowski later complained about the “deep state” that’s out to get his man. This reveals another fault line. See, the POTUS people, they want you to see the deep state as un-American simply by virtue of their beltway status, and the POTUS as a “real man of the people” – but the whole thing is a big sand castle. FBI agents aren’t really “inside the beltway” in the sense that we’re being told to think they are – they’re the top cops. They really help run the show. America has always loved the FBI, and that’s not likely to change.

But I digress.

As Howard Fineman said today on Chris Matthews: “People who are trying to attack Comey on (his manhood)…should probably grow a pair themselves.”

And this isn’t just a “mine is bigger” kind of thing. There’s a lot more to it than that.

Because if both of these guys testify publicly under oath on what was said in those private conversations, one of them will have perjured himself.



Today we got a bit of a history lesson from Mr. Ken West on the Russians’ role in World War II.

“They barely survived,” West said of the residents of Stalingrad under siege by the Germans. “They were eating shoe leather… it was a horrible minute, a time of war. They were eating shoe leather (but) they came above the tragedy of war.”

Shifting to the present day, West expressed a certain amount of admiration for the Russian people.

“They’re beautiful people now in Moscow,” West said. ‘They have bad traffic, though.”

West elaborated on a new Internet campaign he means to promote – one that focuses on giving the Russians the attention that they deserve.

“This is what’s going to fly on the Internet,” West said. “Save the Russians … they stand in line for bread – they’re beautiful people.”

Further elaborating on the origins of the Russian people, West suggested that they originally may have come from a specific part of the universe, potentially outside of the Milky Way galaxy.

“We (humans) are all from different sectors of the universe,” West said. “Every portion of us is why there’s so many countries — we come from throughout the universe.”

West encouraged individuals to find their own alien heritage.

“When we find our heritage, we’ll know,” West said, clarifying that the rest of his knowledge on extraterrestrial affairs will not be released prior to his work on a major motion picture.

“I’ll give you a clue,” West said, confirming that the solution to our alien identities will not come from simply dropping mescaline.

In the course of the conversation, West did note that he himself has partaken of the famously mind-altering drug, though not for such lofty purposes.

“I was in Georgetown at a Roy Rogers on Wisconsin Avenue,” West said, referencing an event that he said occurred at least 50 years ago.

Launching into the story, West recounted a series of potential crimes involving his possession of mescaline, which he described as “good capsules of sugary thing.”

“These cops come up on me, caught me in the corner — I said: ‘I’m in deep doo-doo.’”

Two or three officers, West said, pinned him in a corner, but he was able to escape.

“I jumped out,” West said, explaining that he was able to make his way under a car parked in front of the building, and started to throw the mescaline capsules into the gutter.

West said he was arrested and handcuffed with one hit of acid in his pocket.

At that point, in what West emphasized is “not a made up story,” he found himself half an hour later handcuffed to a chair and under the influence of the substance.

“I was tripping,” West said. “I was tripping, tripping, tripping…”

The apex of the story involved a chair thrown at a booking officer.

“I said: ‘here’s this for your Vietnam War,’” West said.

After reminiscing on the legacy of the Vietnam era, West abruptly changed focus back to the present, arguing that “we are in now times.”

“The Russians are disgusted with America and Trump,” West said. “They’re survivors – if it wasn’t for the Russians, we would all be speaking German right now.”

West cited other major hardships that the Russian people have survived in the years since Stalingrad, for example, Chernobyl.

“It’s all about the Russian people,” West said, giving the Russian population “kudos” for putting up with the hijinks and shenanigans going on within the current American political system. West contended that even the Russian oligarchs, who are supposed to be benefiting from much of the chicanery, do not actually enjoy the media circus that’s going on right now, because it makes them look bad.

The Holy City

Ken West believes he has found a group of locals who will be involved in the purification of the human spirit, in whatever aftermath follows a world war that he says is inevitable.

West claimed the group can be referenced online, providing the following Google phrase: neryatce.

A precise Google search turns up the web site for the New York State Teacher Certification Examinations.

“It’s a group of young humanoids,” West said of the mysterious group May 29, while acknowledging the end of Memorial Day weekend and suggesting that Trump has let U.S. veterans down.

“I’m very popular here,” West said of his status with Charlottesville’s up and coming generation of youth, “But I don’t go out much anymore. I’ve got people who want to kill me.”

When asked about this remark, West cited numerous run-ins with Charlottesville police, as well as the recent tragic attack on three men, including a military veteran, which left two of them dead. The attacker, West said, “praised Timothy McVeigh,” who he called a “white terrorist.”

“I’m in a condo,” West said. “I got a smoked trout, I got a beautiful woman. We got a clue.”

To underscore the point, West ceded the floor to his female companion, who he calls “the female Jesus,” for a quite impressive narrative involving a Holy City marked with the Star of David, taking up at least one half of the United States, and the entrance of the world into an “astronomical age” where humans co-exist for one thousand years with the trinity.

West and his partner did not comment on whether the upcoming era has any connection to the “Age of Aquarius” so commonly prophesied in the latter half of the twentieth century, but did include some much darker prophesy in unrecorded remarks following a call to “seek God and live.”

Editor’s Note: In a tribute to what America has been, and the power of mere mortals to inspire through soaring oration, we are including tonight a speech by a man – a man who is known, by various groups of people, in very different ways, and held to many different estimations: we feel these words, in this day and age, speak strongly to the power of the dreams that we may hold.

Mr. State Trooper … Please Don’t Stop Me …

Does the president “have Tourette’s”? How close is North Korea moving toward instigating the next world war? And what about those Russians snapping photos of the Oval Office?

Amidst the explication of the day’s news, we received a glimpse of the life and times of Ken West in West’s comments May 16.

Flash back to a 13 year old Kenny West, traversing central VA route 81 by thumb, moving between the homes of his two divorced parents.

According to the tale, a state trooper “came up on” young Kenny, who wore an Afghan jacket and long “hippie hair,” and in the course of an interrogation, rifled through his pockets, finding approximately 10 grams of hashish wrapped in tin foil.

“I told him they were (Hershey’s) kisses,” West said, admitting that the hash did not look like kisses, but could have been some other form of chocolate.

West said after hauling him back to the station, the officer then suddenly let him go. However, on making his way back to his old haunts, West found his load to be a little lighter – by a few grams.

“He took some of my stuff!” West said. “He was a Vietnam vet – he wanted to get high.”

All in all, West conceded, the situation could have turned out worse.

“He was a sweet-heart,” West said of the state policeman. “It was at that time that I decided I wanted to work in intelligence, in the FBI – not to bust people for a little bit of drugs, you understand … to put the real bad guys away, the murderers, the a-holes.”

Unfortunately for West, he said, the minimum height requirement for the academy was five feet eight inches, while at the apex of his growth, West ranged 5’7” – and a half.

“If I’d have been about a half an inch taller,” West said, rather broadly referencing the current state of American democracy, the efficacy of the country’s rule of law, and its ability to weather corruption and kleptocracy, “none of this bullsh-t would have happened.”