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The Bonfires of Saint John

On Saint John’s Eve, near the cusp of the June solstice, Ken West celebrated his birthday by performing a set of his own songs on the piano in the sanctuary of the Haven church in Charlottesville, VA.

“A Yamaha. A real piano.” West said. “I’m not talking about an electronic thing.”

The lyrics to West’s “Blue Rose,” an ode to Mother Earth, are currently in storage, but West said he has worked on some of the material he brought with him to Nashville in the late 1990s.

The day also included a trip to the local Chipotle, where West said the crew gifted him with a free burrito.

“They all know me over there,” West said.

West also used the day to ruminate on his own take on a new presidential plan to put solar panels on top of the border wall that has been so much a part of the flamboyant POTUS’ reality-TV agenda.

Just hours before sundown, CNN reports highlighted the assertion, assumedly from the White House, that a solar border wall would “pay for itself.” Since Trump’s previous claims that Mexico would pay for the wall have been roundly rebuffed, the idea that costs could be recouped through the collection of solar energy provides a convenient fig leaf for the jingoistic plan to wall off the entire country from its southern neighbor, at significant expense, in an era of slackening immigration across the U.S./Mexican border.

“It could work.” West said, asking us to imagine steel frames 50 feet high, crowned with solar panels, and “barbed wire on the Mexican side.”

However, West is not a fan of the president’s plan per se, suggesting the solar panel wall would need key changes to be viable. In fact, West voiced much more admiration for another infrastructure project on the other side of the world: China’s revival of a “Silk Road” concept that is being talked about on National Public Radio. In some ways, China’s new trade initiative, buttressed by blockchain and cryptocurrency technology applications, paves the way for the Middle Kingdom to emerge as a new and much more competent superpower nation utilizing practical, fiscally responsible trade and military policy.

Noting the enormous debt that America owes to China, West suggested it would behoove U.S. citizens to research emerging Chinese policy. West also reiterated his descriptions of current Chinese military projects: the creation of massive man-made islands to serve as stationary battleships, and a series of “hovercraft” ships he said represent a new and modern naval fleet.

Returning to policy regarding North Korea, which West typically refers to as “going back to square one,” West mentioned two points. First, he said, he has abandoned his recommendation of “dropping 20-dollar bills and rice balls” over the impoverished country, admitting that military leaders would just confiscate any such windfalls. Secondly, West noted the absence of any recent long-range missile tests or other provocations.

“All is well.” West said. “I am the bearer of good news.”

You Don’t Mess With the G-Man



The whole Comey thing is a blizzard – a circus of such great and strange proportions that it’s really hard to tackle it whole at all.

In some ways, it comes down to a sitting president whose level of discourse is “See Dick lie. Lie, Dick, lie.”

In another way, it comes down to the reality. Not the “facts.” The reality is that, if you put your money on Comey, you’re likely to win. But the skeleton crew still propping up the POTUS don’t want you to hear that.

The reality is that there most likely was some form of “collusion” or “obstruction” regardless of the president’s ridiculous soundbite: “No collusion, No obstruction, He’s a leaker.”

Anyway, getting past all of that, there’s something else really interesting happening.

Listening to the post-game today, you can hear several desperate ways that the colorguard behind the throne are trying to discredit Comey.

One is that he really shouldn’t have “leaked” details of his conversations, which, as inside the beltway professionals point out, happens all the time and is routine in the context in which Comey did it.

But there’s another argument that’s even weirder.

You have this soundbite of Corey Lewandowski saying Comey “wasn’t man enough to give the notes directly to the media” all while engaging in the same kind of “alternative facts” spin that took Kelley Ann Conway down a notch.

It’s the old trick of adding insult to injury, but on a deeper level, it actually might be revealing a lot more of the reality that Trump backers would like to conveniently ignore.

Look at this face.

Does this guy look scared?

Think about it. This guy’s a G-man. A spook. He’s not the guy who you scare. He’s the guy who scares you. Jim Comey is the one who knocks.

Here’s the thing – the “alt-right” or whatever you call them these days has always, always traded on the machismo of America, and the ultimate superiority of law enforcement types and white people. Hell, authoritarians make the best FOP donors. So what Lewandowski was saying is really a bridge too far.

In a kind of admission of this ultimate reality, Lewandowski later complained about the “deep state” that’s out to get his man. This reveals another fault line. See, the POTUS people, they want you to see the deep state as un-American simply by virtue of their beltway status, and the POTUS as a “real man of the people” – but the whole thing is a big sand castle. FBI agents aren’t really “inside the beltway” in the sense that we’re being told to think they are – they’re the top cops. They really help run the show. America has always loved the FBI, and that’s not likely to change.

But I digress.

As Howard Fineman said today on Chris Matthews: “People who are trying to attack Comey on (his manhood)…should probably grow a pair themselves.”

And this isn’t just a “mine is bigger” kind of thing. There’s a lot more to it than that.

Because if both of these guys testify publicly under oath on what was said in those private conversations, one of them will have perjured himself.



Today we got a bit of a history lesson from Mr. Ken West on the Russians’ role in World War II.

“They barely survived,” West said of the residents of Stalingrad under siege by the Germans. “They were eating shoe leather… it was a horrible minute, a time of war. They were eating shoe leather (but) they came above the tragedy of war.”

Shifting to the present day, West expressed a certain amount of admiration for the Russian people.

“They’re beautiful people now in Moscow,” West said. ‘They have bad traffic, though.”

West elaborated on a new Internet campaign he means to promote – one that focuses on giving the Russians the attention that they deserve.

“This is what’s going to fly on the Internet,” West said. “Save the Russians … they stand in line for bread – they’re beautiful people.”

Further elaborating on the origins of the Russian people, West suggested that they originally may have come from a specific part of the universe, potentially outside of the Milky Way galaxy.

“We (humans) are all from different sectors of the universe,” West said. “Every portion of us is why there’s so many countries — we come from throughout the universe.”

West encouraged individuals to find their own alien heritage.

“When we find our heritage, we’ll know,” West said, clarifying that the rest of his knowledge on extraterrestrial affairs will not be released prior to his work on a major motion picture.

“I’ll give you a clue,” West said, confirming that the solution to our alien identities will not come from simply dropping mescaline.

In the course of the conversation, West did note that he himself has partaken of the famously mind-altering drug, though not for such lofty purposes.

“I was in Georgetown at a Roy Rogers on Wisconsin Avenue,” West said, referencing an event that he said occurred at least 50 years ago.

Launching into the story, West recounted a series of potential crimes involving his possession of mescaline, which he described as “good capsules of sugary thing.”

“These cops come up on me, caught me in the corner — I said: ‘I’m in deep doo-doo.’”

Two or three officers, West said, pinned him in a corner, but he was able to escape.

“I jumped out,” West said, explaining that he was able to make his way under a car parked in front of the building, and started to throw the mescaline capsules into the gutter.

West said he was arrested and handcuffed with one hit of acid in his pocket.

At that point, in what West emphasized is “not a made up story,” he found himself half an hour later handcuffed to a chair and under the influence of the substance.

“I was tripping,” West said. “I was tripping, tripping, tripping…”

The apex of the story involved a chair thrown at a booking officer.

“I said: ‘here’s this for your Vietnam War,’” West said.

After reminiscing on the legacy of the Vietnam era, West abruptly changed focus back to the present, arguing that “we are in now times.”

“The Russians are disgusted with America and Trump,” West said. “They’re survivors – if it wasn’t for the Russians, we would all be speaking German right now.”

West cited other major hardships that the Russian people have survived in the years since Stalingrad, for example, Chernobyl.

“It’s all about the Russian people,” West said, giving the Russian population “kudos” for putting up with the hijinks and shenanigans going on within the current American political system. West contended that even the Russian oligarchs, who are supposed to be benefiting from much of the chicanery, do not actually enjoy the media circus that’s going on right now, because it makes them look bad.

The Holy City

Ken West believes he has found a group of locals who will be involved in the purification of the human spirit, in whatever aftermath follows a world war that he says is inevitable.

West claimed the group can be referenced online, providing the following Google phrase: neryatce.

A precise Google search turns up the web site for the New York State Teacher Certification Examinations.

“It’s a group of young humanoids,” West said of the mysterious group May 29, while acknowledging the end of Memorial Day weekend and suggesting that Trump has let U.S. veterans down.

“I’m very popular here,” West said of his status with Charlottesville’s up and coming generation of youth, “But I don’t go out much anymore. I’ve got people who want to kill me.”

When asked about this remark, West cited numerous run-ins with Charlottesville police, as well as the recent tragic attack on three men, including a military veteran, which left two of them dead. The attacker, West said, “praised Timothy McVeigh,” who he called a “white terrorist.”

“I’m in a condo,” West said. “I got a smoked trout, I got a beautiful woman. We got a clue.”

To underscore the point, West ceded the floor to his female companion, who he calls “the female Jesus,” for a quite impressive narrative involving a Holy City marked with the Star of David, taking up at least one half of the United States, and the entrance of the world into an “astronomical age” where humans co-exist for one thousand years with the trinity.

West and his partner did not comment on whether the upcoming era has any connection to the “Age of Aquarius” so commonly prophesied in the latter half of the twentieth century, but did include some much darker prophesy in unrecorded remarks following a call to “seek God and live.”

Editor’s Note: In a tribute to what America has been, and the power of mere mortals to inspire through soaring oration, we are including tonight a speech by a man – a man who is known, by various groups of people, in very different ways, and held to many different estimations: we feel these words, in this day and age, speak strongly to the power of the dreams that we may hold.

Mr. State Trooper … Please Don’t Stop Me …

Does the president “have Tourette’s”? How close is North Korea moving toward instigating the next world war? And what about those Russians snapping photos of the Oval Office?

Amidst the explication of the day’s news, we received a glimpse of the life and times of Ken West in West’s comments May 16.

Flash back to a 13 year old Kenny West, traversing central VA route 81 by thumb, moving between the homes of his two divorced parents.

According to the tale, a state trooper “came up on” young Kenny, who wore an Afghan jacket and long “hippie hair,” and in the course of an interrogation, rifled through his pockets, finding approximately 10 grams of hashish wrapped in tin foil.

“I told him they were (Hershey’s) kisses,” West said, admitting that the hash did not look like kisses, but could have been some other form of chocolate.

West said after hauling him back to the station, the officer then suddenly let him go. However, on making his way back to his old haunts, West found his load to be a little lighter – by a few grams.

“He took some of my stuff!” West said. “He was a Vietnam vet – he wanted to get high.”

All in all, West conceded, the situation could have turned out worse.

“He was a sweet-heart,” West said of the state policeman. “It was at that time that I decided I wanted to work in intelligence, in the FBI – not to bust people for a little bit of drugs, you understand … to put the real bad guys away, the murderers, the a-holes.”

Unfortunately for West, he said, the minimum height requirement for the academy was five feet eight inches, while at the apex of his growth, West ranged 5’7” – and a half.

“If I’d have been about a half an inch taller,” West said, rather broadly referencing the current state of American democracy, the efficacy of the country’s rule of law, and its ability to weather corruption and kleptocracy, “none of this bullsh-t would have happened.”



Building the Pyramids

Citing a recent NPR program describing the discovery of multiple sets of bones in North African caves, Ken West says carbon-dated findings from thousands of years ago represent strong indications of the intervention of extraterrestrial life in ancient human affairs.

“It’s way beyond Noah’s ark,” West said, describing the examination of unidentified records from somewhere “near the cradle of civilization” and fossils from the MENA region. “I think they were E.T.”

West theorized that extra-terrestrial life forms from a nearby star made their way through many light years in ships without conventional propellant. “A colony could escape their star.” West said, referring to the plot line of Battlestar Galactica and suggesting a community from well beyond our solar system eventually made its way to Earth, which West affectionately refers to as “the Blue Rose.”

These life forms, he said, ended up mating with humans and assimilating into modern humanity. At the same time, he said, some individual extra-terrestrials have had the ability to arrive on this plant independently, by traveling through the space/time continuum.

West noted theories that suppose extra-terrestrials had contact with ancient Egyptian kings in some way, leading to the creation of immense physical pyramids that would have been difficult to construct within the boundaries of natural human societies of that time.

“Pharaohs were worshipped as Gods,” West said. “This could be a novelette.”

Alluding to Machhu Picchu, which was built much later in the fifteenth century, West described a class of humans or human/extra-terrestrial hybrids who could compel men to build massive stone architectures.

“I don’t think they were the good guys,” West said.

The Egyptian pyramids, he said, were covered with a coating of white limestone, and, like other more modern edifices, looked good when they were new.

“They were like the Washington Monument,” West said. “They were well-kept.”

West also described two distinct classes of laborers involved in pyramid creation: stonemasons and skilled builders near the construction site, and slave laborers largely in quarries.

Of the set of workers who did the finer stone work, West suggested many were farmers who worked on pyramid construction in an idle season.

“They had a time and season,” West said. “They volunteered – it was a national project. They didn’t have cable TV … these guys wanted to get away from their women. All they had was ‘let’s go build something for our god.’”

The larger masses of enslaved workers elsewhere, West conceded, probably did not have any fun at all.

Speaking of the analysis of the stone work at Macchu Picchu, West said the refined nature of the work indicates a mysterious origin, most likely, the hand of a non-human civilization.

“(Macchu Picchu) was a fortress against large numbers of humanoids,” West said.

A gold reserve buried under the site, West said, was eventually looted.

“We’ve had a lot of gold stolen from us over the years,” West said, suggesting extra-terrestrial miners have prized the element for its unique conductivity and atomic properties.

West, who has often characterized himself as a Non-Orientated Sexual Humanoid or NOSH, declined to comment further on ideas about alien intervention that he plans to develop into a “full length feature film.”

“I am coy.” West said.

A New Rat Trap!!

Ken West’s rodent trap is back, and it’s bigger than ever.

In this vintage video from the “early oughts” – we see a younger, scrappier West explaining in detail his revolutionary mousetrap design for Matteus Frankovich somewhere in downtown Charlottesville, VA.

Now, West wants to sell an oversized version of this trap, for rats, to municipalities.

“They’re infesting our world.” West said of the rats. “We don’t want them to **** in our food anymore.”

While the initial design was a live trap, West has now re-engineered the design to  look more like this:

He also describes a “death chamber” for the rats based on their descent into a sequence of holes.

The current plan, West says, is to present the design to both the Paul Newman Foundation and the Gates Foundation. After listening to Bill Gates on NPR, West believes that this is the kind of solution the philanthropist is looking for.

“Every day, it has to be picked up and eliminate the rats.” West says. “I’m a genius. I am. I’m sure this will work.”

A Prayer for Moon Jae-In


What’s happening on the Korean peninsula?

Those of us observing the situation from the other side of the world can’t be exactly sure. However, impending elections in South Korea appear to be changing the calculus on a diplomatic crisis that had many Americans quite worried.

In recent weeks, the American media cycle had allocated many thousands of hours of coverage to talking heads dissecting diplomatic gridlock from all angles: how six party talks might not be possible or yield further resolution, how our only hope is to hang on China, how Trump’s word could escalate a situation already hanging like the sword of Damocles above our collective vision of mutually assured destruction.

Now, South Korean candidate Moon Jae-In appears to be a vehicle of international hope, that perhaps the North and the South can contribute to solving the conflict which has spun so far beyond their borders.

A May 5 Reuters piece herald’s Jae-in’s arrival to prominence, citing efforts to re-open the Kae-Song Industrial Zone and pursue “Sunshine Policy” with the North.

At least one shade-tree political analyst in the United States believes the U.S. owes Jae-In a word of gratitude, and a prayer of enabling, for doing something that he feels America should have done weeks ago.

Itinerant carpenter and political scholar Ken West has been alerting the Charlottesville, VA community about the threat of nuclear war for the past two months, suggesting that food aid and a white flag of peace could prevent cataclysm in Korea. Now, he interprets current NPR reports as assertions that Jae-Ins government is poised to solve a diplomatic problem with “rice balls and $20 bills,” the very same fodder that he has repeatedly advised peacemakers to deliver to the impoverished North Koreans.

While admitting such a move could be seen as a provocation by the North if done by American planes, West has nevertheless been vocally persistent in his efforts to persuade Americans that such a message of love and peace is crucial to their survival. Now, he sees the South Korean candidate as having the potential to deliver that message and save the world.

A Novel Idea for North Korea

Amid all of the tense reports from Pyongyang and Washington D.C., people are wondering: what’s next for Korea?

The big debate in a lot of bars, living rooms and conference halls is whether the flailing of national governments and impulsive figureheads will simply over-escalate and get us into a new World War, which, as seasoned military experts concur, will not yield any real winners.

Or will diplomacy, favored by the establishment, win the day?

One Charlottesville, VA resident offers a third possibility.

Local activist and theology scholar Kenneth A. West suggests that instead of dropping tactical nukes, the more effective solution would be to drop food.

West believes that the private sector, in the form of the Gates Foundation or other philanthropic offices, might seize on this idea, if persuaded of its viability by the people at large.

Where the federal government has consistently relied on weaponry to advance American interests abroad, West contends that food aid will work better: the ideal situation, he says, would be to drop “nice food” with a selection of pamphlets including the slogan “we love you.”

It’s a nice thought, but not one that jibes with the will of the U.S. military industrial complex. What do you think?


These are real words that sober and responsible journalists are reporting after another blistering day of GOP macho crap dressed up and paraded around as policy.

Yes, that perennial genius of Texas, Rick Perry, is auditioning for the Senate Energy and Natural Resources Committee to get that brass ring, the job of Secretary of Energy, in a circus of un-professionals so wild it’s making a lot of us a little dizzy.

By now, most people understand the irony of Perry putting in for a job that he so famously recommended doing away with in the past. Turns out his “oops” moment was actually an “oops” in more ways than one!

“My past statements made over five years ago about abolishing the Department of Energy do not reflect my current thinking,” Rick Perry told the committee. “In fact, after being briefed on so many of the vital functions of the Department of Energy, I regret recommending its elimination.”

(Insert great sigh of relief here.) Well – he’s cleared all of that up, then.

Shouldn’t this very idea be worthy of a resounding middle finger from a legislature and a constituency fed up with the bullshit? How goofball can you get? About fifteen years from now, we’ll have Scooby-Doo as Secretary of Education, A tele-tubby as Secretary of Energy, and a dirty Kid Rock t-shirt as Secretary of State.

Seriously. It’s one thing to insist that an “applicant” for one of these important federal jobs doesn’t need to have any experience in the field at all, that in fact, he or she can actually be some boot-licking loyalist with a few bucks to throw around – but shouldn’t recommending the abolition of a department disqualify you from that particular one?

Not in this world, the new one we all fell into just now when we, uh, miscalculated the electorate.

Do those glasses make him look any smarter?

When they talk about “not normalizing” this administration, this is one of the things they’re talking about. We can’t abandon professionalism in chase of some crazy shiny unicorn populism or we’ll wake up a couple of years later and realize we squandered everything we had going for us.